Marriage life

Marriage life is the mixture of joy and sorrow. Basically marriage is the combination of two lives and their experiences and values that they gained through their parents, teachers,etc. There will be some difference and some similarity among them. Marriage life will be joy when both the partners have similar understanding or feeling on some instance. And this will be sorrow when they notice the differences. This is on-going feeling during their life. Couples need to realize this first.

When there is difference in opinions or ideas, we need to be very cautious in maintaining our relationship. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. You may need to avoid unnecessary arguments or hurtful questions. After all we are humans, and I dont think we need to know everything and dont need to be right all the time.

I think if both the partners think them as one, there wont be a question of ego or proving the other wrong, etc. You dont need to be right always. When this sort of argument arises, one of them need to step back and let it go.

Interestingly, most of the problems happen because of others. Partners try to take their sides based on their family, friends, etc and fight among each other. Who needs to have a good married life? Will those people around us come and live for us? Who can control our married life? Only husband and wife. Not anyone...not even kids, parents, grand kids, relatives, friends,etc.

Every relationship we have during our existence has something unique. Love and affection you have for your wife/husband will be different from the one you have for your friends. Partners need to understand this process carefully. Possessiveness....that is another evil when partners fail to identify the difference in this level of love and affection.

Can we live happily without depending on someone or something?

I was hearing Prem Rawat's speech about happiness the other day. Though I could not see the full programme in TV, I heard him asking something similar to this question. Then, I realized yes that is very true. Most of the times we feel happiness because of someone or something. I would like to share this thought with you friends as well.
For some reason, our need is always tied up with happiness. Whenever our needs are met, we feel happy. If not, sad. Can happiness be realized beyond the needs? Even in the final stage of spirituality, Saints/Rishis look forward to attaining moksa or God through death or meditation or some sort of self-disciplinary activities. Even in this case, they need something to achieve which make them feel happy. They do expect something from someone. But that something is non-objective and someone is divine. That's the only difference.
It seems to me that dependency is always the factor for happiness at all levels of our existence. But, what if that someone or something is weak?? Does not it affect us eventually? I think so. I think we need to be prepared for anything and try to take things as it goes. I know it is always easy to preach these things. But atleast by sharing with you guys, I may realize the reality when I go through hard times :) After all, it is part of our life. We need to keep going on....

What is happening around us?

I was feeling bit down for past two days for some reason. It is not a rocket science however, one to understand self is not an easy job. When it comes to others, we keep advising them what to do, what not to do, some story narration, etc. But when it comes to us, that is when it hits hard. I was going through that and feeling very insecure in handling monetary commitments.
Then, I took some time to think through what I have been going through. It seems to me that I was unwantedly worrying about something that does not exist. As I have mentioned in my earlier posts, Humans tend to assume and confuse sometimes to make things complex and worse. That's what happened to me. This is all due to the news I have been hearing most of the time, reading some analysis on how the market is...I know it is good to be aware of the situation by making ourselves exposed to the available information but when you get attached to the information, it hurts and that is what happened.

Pursuit of Happiness

Why do we fail to live happily at all times? Is this because of our ability to identify and distinguish the happenings in our life? Or, struggling between duality of our own life? When we get good, we are happy? When we get bad, we are unhappy? Good and Bad-Why do we categorize all the time? Do we understand the reality or just take assumptions based on our experiences? Why is it always hard to see what is? Why do we have opinions on everything? Am sure intelligence is not something failing to see the reality or present. Why cannot we be aware and intelligent enough to understand the reality? Only then, we can pursue the happiness in our life. Life is full of pain and struggle at each level because of our needs in different aspects and it is an ongoing change as well. We cannot get away from that however we can understand what is and try to understand the depth of life and enjoy the moment. Is not it where happiness lies?

Willingness to accept the change in others

I found this phrase in one of J Krishnamurthy's teachings. I am sure most of us have realized at some part of our life time between ourselves and different relationships. So thought of sharing with you guys.
Relationships may be anything: Child, Spouse, friend, neighbor, sibling, student, teacher, parents, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. When we get to meet someone, our mind will group this person under on of our relationship groups. By having constant meeting/relationship with this person, we get habituated to the process and build our expectations about this person. We explore the person's personality with our little experience and build this expectation. Apparently, at some stage, this exploration seems to be stopped and we set a strong opinion or expectation on this person. When this person behaves different to our expectations, we get upset and fail to respond to our senses. This also leads to the failure to accept the changes in others by changing ourselves. Yes, we need to change ourselves from being habituated to any relationships and be open minded to accept the change in others. Life needs to get going with lots of unexpected consequences. Only if we have ability to accept the changes around us, we can enjoy this life with love else end up in misery.