Thoughts like a falling leaf from tree

Coping with change

2011-01-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

Life is very beautiful. I was watching Swami Parthasarathy's videos from Youtube. Some of his views and lectures really inspired me. By putting more thoughts into them relating with the personal experiences and observations, I wanted to share about how we have to cope up with the changes around us.

The source of our stress is not the surroundings but lies within. When we see changes around us...it could be with people, financial crisis, job market, loved ones,etc..., we get anxious on our future and try to worry about the past by relating the similar things that happened long back.
If we know how to control us to handle the changes, then the life will always be beautiful. It is all in our perception. I have seen people with loads of problems but still try to enjoy each and every moment of their life to the fullest. I think this is a gift. We humans are the only creature who can control the mind and body through our intellect.

I think if we handle any change with the positive perception, we would not be struggling and enjoy the beauty of all the happenings of life.

Why cannot we get along with everyone?

2010-12-18T22:58:00.000-08:00

Our level of tolerance towards loved ones and strangers varies all through our life since childhood days. I am not sure if you have noticed this. We always wanted to be so nice to strangers and take our loved ones for granted most of the time.

When strangers upset us, we may be annoyed for a while but we just ignore and keep going on. Same applies at the workplace. But when same experience happens with our loved ones, we take it very serious and keep thinking of this occasionally.

Is this because we are very closely associated with our loved ones all the time and expect more from them? Or, are we trying to impose our expectation and qualities on our loved ones and try to experience the same from them all the time? Is this possible?

Everyone is different and people do different things to their level of understanding of what is right or wrong. Why cannot we just get along with everyone all the time? I know it is very hard as I always experience this sense of animosity when my friends and family upset me occasionally. After a while, I try to understand my experience and get along with them. Tricky bit would be not even getting upset in the first instance when someone upsets us.
In other words, one should be emotionally strong enough so that no one can upset them.

Challenges in Relationship

2010-12-13T23:10:00.001-08:00

True relationship will always be tested in the course of time. As we all live in the world of duality and conflicts, our relationship will go through some hardtimes due to some difference of opinions, misunderstandings, etc.

True love is the key essence for a healthy relationship. When conflicts arise, differences may need to be overlooked or handled superficially. This is because of a simple truth that if you love someone, there is no question of hating them because of their other side. Your love must be true and the other person will realize this in the course of time. When you change due to the surroundings and any other happenings, then the relationship will certainly be challenged. Then, no one else to blame other than the actual people who are in the relationship.

Imagining the possible problems

2010-12-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

The only difference between adults and kids is the ability to think beyond the current state. Kids enjoy the present and live the fullest of whatever they are given with. But we, adults, think we know everything due to our experiences in the past and learning's we made through the books, others' blogs. Because of this illusionary wisdom, we sometimes complicate things and try to imagine the problems that could occur in future.

Why cannot we leave the future and enjoy the present? I am not asking to ignore the problem as we have to handle it anyway. Rather try to imagine all sort of possible problems, live the present and handle the problems carefully when it arises.

Can we control others?

2010-08-14T23:09:00.001-07:00

Do we have rights to control others? I am not talking about a stranger here but the loved ones. We may think that we can control others based on what we think is right. To me this seems to be bit erratic.

End of the day, one should control himself/herself in order to influence others by his/her actions. Just by imposing our thoughts on others would not make a difference. One should realize what is good, what is truth, what is right thing to do. These things cannot be taught by the words but by the experiences.

Then, How will a child learn what is right?
We need to live up to our principles to influence our kids. If we don't do the right things, then obviously kids are going to learn from you. After all, we will be the first role model for them.

Expectation is the evil feeling

2010-08-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

One with no expectation is equal to the God......I am sure someone would have quoted this before but I started realizing in my recent days.

I have mentioned in my previous blogs about the expectation that we have and build through out our life time. But in this blog I would like to share about the expectation on human beings who are related to us and around us. This could be our friends, colleagues, parents, siblings, wife, kids, all the other relatives and even acquaintances. We are such a complicated being on this earth. We have all these ideologies and opinions on everything and everybody. When things happen against these, we tend to lose our control and react on people even to our loved ones.

Why is this happening? Expectation based on the opinions and ideologies about the individuals around us. What if we don't expect anything from the people around us? We may enjoy and accept them as who they are.

If we are happy based on their actions, then it is bonus experience. If not, no hard feelings....Yes, I know it is easy to say. But the problem is once you start enjoying our happy moments, we start building expectation on the person. Crazy feeling...but that is true.

I think that is when we need to keep reminding ourselves that nothing is certain and you cannot expect people to think and do what you want or like them to do.

You are what you have

2010-01-08T21:59:00.001-08:00

You are what you learn
You are what you earn
You are how you look
You are how you behave
You are what your family is
You are where you live

YOU ARE WHAT YOU HAVE

I used to think we all are common on this earth sharing the same resources....happiness and sadness is up to us to take from the happenings around our life....But then why we are comfortable enough to have our food until now than a 9 year old Sonsonne Semtembre below (Taken in recent Haiti disaster relief supplies place)

Marriage life

2009-11-27T02:12:00.002-08:00

Marriage life is the mixture of joy and sorrow. Basically marriage is the combination of two lives and their experiences and values that they gained through their parents, teachers,etc. There will be some difference and some similarity among them. Marriage life will be joy when both the partners have similar understanding or feeling on some instance. And this will be sorrow when they notice the differences. This is on-going feeling during their life. Couples need to realize this first.

When there is difference in opinions or ideas, we need to be very cautious in maintaining our relationship. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. You may need to avoid unnecessary arguments or hurtful questions. After all we are humans, and I dont think we need to know everything and dont need to be right all the time.

I think if both the partners think them as one, there wont be a question of ego or proving the other wrong, etc. You dont need to be right always. When this sort of argument arises, one of them need to step back and let it go.

Interestingly, most of the problems happen because of others. Partners try to take their sides based on their family, friends, etc and fight among each other. Who needs to have a good married life? Will those people around us come and live for us? Who can control our married life? Only husband and wife. Not anyone...not even kids, parents, grand kids, relatives, friends,etc.

Every relationship we have during our existence has something unique. Love and affection you have for your wife/husband will be different from the one you have for your friends. Partners need to understand this process carefully. Possessiveness....that is another evil when partners fail to identify the difference in this level of love and affection.

Can we live happily without depending on someone or something?

2009-05-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

I was hearing Prem Rawat's speech about happiness the other day. Though I could not see the full programme in TV, I heard him asking something similar to this question. Then, I realized yes that is very true. Most of the times we feel happiness because of someone or something. I would like to share this thought with you friends as well.
For some reason, our need is always tied up with happiness. Whenever our needs are met, we feel happy. If not, sad. Can happiness be realized beyond the needs? Even in the final stage of spirituality, Saints/Rishis look forward to attaining moksa or God through death or meditation or some sort of self-disciplinary activities. Even in this case, they need something to achieve which make them feel happy. They do expect something from someone. But that something is non-objective and someone is divine. That's the only difference.
It seems to me that dependency is always the factor for happiness at all levels of our existence. But, what if that someone or something is weak?? Does not it affect us eventually? I think so. I think we need to be prepared for anything and try to take things as it goes. I know it is always easy to preach these things. But atleast by sharing with you guys, I may realize the reality when I go through hard times :) After all, it is part of our life. We need to keep going on....

What is happening around us?

2009-02-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

I was feeling bit down for past two days for some reason. It is not a rocket science however, one to understand self is not an easy job. When it comes to others, we keep advising them what to do, what not to do, some story narration, etc. But when it comes to us, that is when it hits hard. I was going through that and feeling very insecure in handling monetary commitments.
Then, I took some time to think through what I have been going through. It seems to me that I was unwantedly worrying about something that does not exist. As I have mentioned in my earlier posts, Humans tend to assume and confuse sometimes to make things complex and worse. That's what happened to me. This is all due to the news I have been hearing most of the time, reading some analysis on how the market is...I know it is good to be aware of the situation by making ourselves exposed to the available information but when you get attached to the information, it hurts and that is what happened.

Pursuit of Happiness

2009-01-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

Why do we fail to live happily at all times? Is this because of our ability to identify and distinguish the happenings in our life? Or, struggling between duality of our own life? When we get good, we are happy? When we get bad, we are unhappy? Good and Bad-Why do we categorize all the time? Do we understand the reality or just take assumptions based on our experiences? Why is it always hard to see what is? Why do we have opinions on everything? Am sure intelligence is not something failing to see the reality or present. Why cannot we be aware and intelligent enough to understand the reality? Only then, we can pursue the happiness in our life. Life is full of pain and struggle at each level because of our needs in different aspects and it is an ongoing change as well. We cannot get away from that however we can understand what is and try to understand the depth of life and enjoy the moment. Is not it where happiness lies?

Willingness to accept the change in others

2009-01-06T18:24:00.000-08:00

I found this phrase in one of J Krishnamurthy's teachings. I am sure most of us have realized at some part of our life time between ourselves and different relationships. So thought of sharing with you guys.
Relationships may be anything: Child, Spouse, friend, neighbor, sibling, student, teacher, parents, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. When we get to meet someone, our mind will group this person under on of our relationship groups. By having constant meeting/relationship with this person, we get habituated to the process and build our expectations about this person. We explore the person's personality with our little experience and build this expectation. Apparently, at some stage, this exploration seems to be stopped and we set a strong opinion or expectation on this person. When this person behaves different to our expectations, we get upset and fail to respond to our senses. This also leads to the failure to accept the changes in others by changing ourselves. Yes, we need to change ourselves from being habituated to any relationships and be open minded to accept the change in others. Life needs to get going with lots of unexpected consequences. Only if we have ability to accept the changes around us, we can enjoy this life with love else end up in misery.

Why do we fight?

2008-12-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

When I write this blog, there are several wars and violent attacks around the world. It seems to me nothing has changed even though our science, technology and what not has improved. With lots of advancements in several fields and other human-made stuff around us, why did we miss to nurture our mind in order to lead a happy life with every body. Why do we have numerous differences among ourselves though we all share the same natural resources? Can we call this greedy or lack of universal acceptance or feeling insecure on something that we are not aware of?
Are we failing to live the life rather prefer to just exist in this world? "Happiness can only be experienced only when it is shared" I got this from a movie 'Into the Wild'. I found it very beautiful. I believe the person whom we are sharing with may not be just our loved ones. It may be anyone. In that case, why cannot it be people from different countries, people having different ideologies, people with different color, language, or with any difference. I am sure we cannot put our legs on everybody's shoes on all the occasions. But at least, we can consider this before hurting anyone. Life is something special and it should be blissful.

Who is my Teacher or Guru?

2008-11-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

Most of us seem to look for teacher/s who can lead us or show us path to achieve our goal in our life. This seeking process seems to be there within us in many phases of our life.
To me it seems like we cannot identify our Guru unless we are ready to learn. And, at the same time we need to sometimes filter what we learn from that guru. Reason is the person you identify as a guru may not necessarily be a superficial being.
Let me tell you an example. When I was a kid, there were times that I have learned certain stuff from my servant maid. And, when I completed my engineering I had to find a right university to do my higher studies. Can I seek that advise from the servant maid who used to be my teacher?
So, it seems to be like you get to see teachers everywhere and all the time in your life. However, we need to be prepared all the time to listen.
This reminds be Paulo Coelho's Alchemist. He mentions that you need to be aware of your surroundings and God's signs. For Atheist people, it could be signs from something that they believe on. Apologies for distracting the topic, it seems to me that even Atheists believe in something. And that belief is that there is no God. They also have their teachers who made them realize the non existence of God.

Anyway, we all find gurus and teachers all the time everywhere as long as we are ready to listen. At the same time, we don't necessarily need to listen everything they say or preach. That is when our experience, family values come into picture to justify what we need to learn from our teachers.
If we use our experience and family values to justify, do we really learn anything new then???? That is beauty of our life. Everyone of us have different ideologies and understanding of our existence in this world. It seems to me WE are the teachers to ourselves most of the time.

Why do we always look for solution/answer on everything?

2008-11-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that most of us look for solution on everything...whatever we see, experience, whenever we speak to someone, etc....I think it is part of human evolution. This is the reason why we have invented so many things, evolved from some barbarians to humans...

However, do we really need to apply same sort of mentality or concept on everything? For example, while we talk to our closed ones, friends.

I think we complicate ourselves by having our own assumptions, conclusions, perceptions, etc. To me, world is really simple and I think we complicate things more than it seems. Sometimes, a 5 year old child can understand the world and aware of the facts better than the grown ups. This is because that the kid sees the fact as what it is. Rather than, trying to come up with the conclusion based on its experience, assumptions, perceptions.

Life is not complicated. It is just us who complicate the life. Sometimes, we need to turn off our intuitive feature and try to enjoy the moment as it is. When you start looking the world/life as it is, you totally enjoy the life and purpose of existence. :)

Living with contradiction

2008-09-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

Most of us would have come across several critics in media about contradictory statements or doings of some celebrities, politicians, etc. However, how many of you have felt that we have been living with contradiction? It may be our thoughts, jobs we do, behavior, etc.

I am 28 now. When I start comparing some of my ideologies, beliefs that I had six years back is totally different to what I have now. Some may define it as maturity, experience, etc. When I start inquiring myself about this change, I can observe several contradictions around me. This includes the environment where I live, friends who I met, education that I had, etc.....these contradictions mean that what I have now is different to what I had six years back.

I think that change is the only unchangeable thing in our life. When we mention the change, are not we contradicting the factor before the change? I hope I am not confusing the readers. For example, when A is changed to B, the word change will not be used unless B is different to A. In other words, contradicted with A.

Birth is a contradictory to death
I am different from you. Because our beliefs, births, culture, parents, experiences, education, friends are different to each other. Difference is because of the contradictory part of above mentioned.

It seems like we all live with the contradictions. So, why do we want to make it more complicated by putting contradictory thoughts within us most of the times? Can we atleast live without the contradictions we create rather than around us?

Can not we live without torturing ourselves?

2008-08-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

J. Krishnamurthy and most of the philosophical writers and some of the religious teachings suggest to live without any expectations to lead a happy life.
I think I agree that statement. BUT, big question is HOW?
I think it is really hard to follow in this materialistic world. Not even for the sake of materials but also for sake of love among the families.
When we work hard in our company, we expect some sort of acknowledgment from them. If we don't get what we expect, then we think the company is not fair. If you love someone truly, then when we find out that the other person does not love you as you expected, you think that he/she is not fair with you.
In both the above scenarios, the level and type of expectation varies however expectation exists.
Some of us kill ourselves with this sort of confusion after we find out that things don't happen as we expected. Rather than killing ourselves, why cannot we take some time to express our loved ones or company about what we deserve and why we deserve. It may alleviate some sort of pain that we cause to ourself and probably we may get what we want or deserve.
You may not get always what you want but at least by taking an opportunity to share your feelings, you could live happily without torturing yourself. As long as we live happy life...what else matters? Expectations, beliefs, dogmas, etc....all formed by us because of our capability of thinking and making things complicated sometimes than it seems to be.

"Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible."

2008-08-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Frank Gaines for this statement.
This quote made me think on an achiever's perspective and I consider as one of the most motivated quotes that I have ever read.
We have heard our elders mentioning "Nothing is impossible" while we were kids or even now some of our colleagues, having dynamic can-do attitude, keep saying these sort of statements to motivate their co-workers, friends, relatives, etc.
Frank has gone a step further to tell us how to do the impossible. Interesting! by seeing the invisible. To me, if any one who can see something what others don't, then he can do something what others don't.
Can we always see the invisible? In other words, are we always alert to observe the invisibilities around the opportunities? As I mentioned in my previous post, we may lose control over our own actions because of others. At that instant, I am afraid we cannot see the invisible. You then become dormant in making some impossibilities.
Though we all can advise others with these sort of quotes easily, I think it is hard to consider ourselves.
Can we change our view on ourself? In other words, can we really look at ourself and the happenings of our own life like anyone else. Can that ease out the feeling that we have? Are not we another living organism of this whole world? Can everyone get everything in this world? Is there any reason for all the happenings? Or is it just how the whole world works? Sometimes we take things for granted, when there is a real need of that very thing, we then end up struggling.
Need never ends....

Why do we allow someone to control our actions?

2008-07-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

As I have read somewhere, Humans are social animals. To me, this means humans cannot live without depending on any other humans or creatures of this society. When we all got into this sort of mentality, I think we have started depending on others. In other words, we expect others to be in a specific way. If they are not, we blame them for not being up to our expectation. We may show our anger, disappointment either to them or to ourselves based on the superiority.

Can we really live without having any sort of assumption or expectation on people? Actually when we meet some strangers, we don't have any assumption or expectation. Eventually, expectation towards them grows based on how close they are to you. How can we stop ourselves expecting some qualities from others? It may even apply to our loved ones.

"Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods"

2008-05-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

This is a statement made by Socrates. I got attracted to the concept: WANTS. Who doesn't?
We all want something always in every stage of our life.
It goes like...
I want toy
I want chocolate
I want my mum to be with me always
I want my dad to take me to theme park
I want my dad to get me some expensive video games
I want to finish off my homeworks
I want my annual holidays all the time
I want to get into good professional college
I want to clear my papers with all A+
I want to get job through campus placement
I want to get admission to one of the high ranking universities abroad
I want to get a nice part-time job
I want to get a full-time job
I want to get a better job with more money
I want to get permanent residentship to settle in abroad
I want to stay close to family
I want to get married
I want to have kids
I want more money to make everyone happy in my family
I want peace
I want to be like someone who does not want anything
.....
When Socrates mentioned about fewest Wants, Is it something like we need to live with what we get or what we come across or what we have?

Is expectation a reason for being religious?

2008-03-04T23:53:00.000-08:00

Most of the religious teachings or beliefs have the concept of fasting. I don't understand this temporary restriction or habit of doing something on some specific days.
Why do we all do this? Why did our ancestors advise us to do so?
Why do our religions expect us to do to be religious? If religion is something extravagant, why can not it accept how we are?
Or, is it some sort of false belief that our religious leaders or ancestors forced on us?
Or, is it because we all think we get what we need from God if we are religious?
When I reached this point, I think we expect something from God by being religious rather than understanding the true meaning of love.

Why do we allow our moods to decide our actions?

2008-02-23T23:11:00.001-08:00

We all have both good and bad moods from time to time. That is reality.
In good mood, most of us love ourself or our job or our family very much at one time. However, in bad mood, we sometimes hate ourself or our job or our family.

Have you guys noticed this among yourself?
It seems to me both the contradictory likes and dislikes are purely based on our moods most of the times. Why do we really do that? Is it because we try to justify everything? Is it because we try to categorize between good and bad? Is it because we have trouble in accepting reality?

Why can not we consider just the good and pleasant thoughts and go forward rather than worrying about something doesn't exist?

Why do we have opinion on everything?

2008-02-21T14:13:00.000-08:00

Have you people noticed any of the following among ourselves?
>>Finding other religions strange
>>Finding people from other nationalities doing strange stuff
>>Finding some of our work mates very different
>>Even finding our friends sometimes different
>>Finding our loved ones different occasionally

Is this because we try to have opinion on everything? I think we all try to see people with some expectation or have opinion about people who must be compatible to us and who must not. Why don't we agree that the difference between people is a reality? Why do we always expect people around us to be up to our expectation? This even applies to our loved ones.
When we start expecting our loved ones to be something based on our opinions, are we really loving them? Or, is that some sort of possession that we have on them? If we really love someone, don't we love their activities as well. May be not, because as I mentioned earlier each one differs. But why should we allow that feeling of disagreement on something we don't believe in?

Can humans live without worrying?

2008-01-20T19:03:00.000-08:00

Why do we always think about something or trying to find solution for something always? Have you people noticed this sort of insecure feeling that we all have or would have at some point of our life time? We cannot be satisfied with what we experience or what we have or what we enjoy. We always look for something which we don't have or something that our kith or kins have.
Having said this, do we need to be content in career advancements or just the material acquirement. I believe we need to get satisfied with what we have in materials. I am not asking everyone to lead a life like a saint however, we all need money and other materials. The thing is we need to know how much we need and any greedy feeling more than what we need is a sign of self destruction. This cannot be satisfied no matter how much we possess.

Festivals, religions, beliefs....

2007-12-23T16:06:00.000-08:00

I am writing this on a Christmas eve. I thought of sharing something which I found very strange among us. Though we all share the same natural resources, breathe in same air, suck in same water, see the same world, have the same color of blood; we have divided ourselves in the name of religion, caste, language, color, traditional bollix.
In the recent days, I started believing the fact that God is beyond the religions. It is not because I lost hope on my religion. It is just because spiritual feeling is about oneness not dividing based on any of the above-mentioned factors.
I have seen people who don't celebrate certain festivals. Its just because they are not part of that religion or don't believe that that festival needs to be celebrated by their group of people. Why can't we just celebrate the festivals...any sort of festivals that our country celebrates. Doesn't it bring us joy and give opportunity to have good time with our friends? Why can't we dump our traditional bollix and try to embrace the joyous radiation around us?
After all, we are not doing any sin...just being happy with people. Has any of our religion opposed that concept of being happy?

Am I good to everyone?

2007-12-23T15:42:00.000-08:00

When we talk to our parents or grand parents, we tend to realize that there is some generation gap between them and us. How many of you people have felt that? I have felt several times, though I have not bothered many times to convince them my ideas.
Everyone of us would find this gap in several matters. But I would like to discuss about the traditional beliefs among us and our previous generations(parents, grand parents, etc) When my parents try to convey some of the rites that we need to follow, I mostly find that they do for someone else. Its not for anyone of us or for our convenience. Why do we always do that?
If you are true to yourself, know how to be kind to people, why do you care about others on what they think? You can't control over others thoughts for your actions. Because, when you act, you think before that. Thats you not the others. So, why do we always try to be good to others? We can't. It is better to be true than good. People may like your true attitude rather than mocking for the sake of others. Then, you lose your originality, your character.

Why do we compare?

2007-12-22T17:27:00.000-08:00

Have you found yourself comparing either yourself or the materials you possess with someone or the materials of them at any point of your life time? Is this really a healthy attitude?
When I mention about comparison, I am not referring to people who compare their intellectual capabilities with someone. Because, when you start comparing the intellectual capability, you may take it in positive way and try to up skill yourself rather trying to be jealous. Jealousy would go nowhere when you start anything intellectually.
Hope I am not distracting the readers much. Let me discuss about the material or character comparison of any individual. We all have friends, may be in different levels of closeness. And, we all are attached to them (based on the level of closeness though). We may compare our friend's achievements, victories, materials, etc with ours. While doing this irrelevant comparison, do we really know how much hard time that each of our friends have faced? Are we all made up of or have same sort of knowledge at all times? Or, do we learn in the cost of time or experience?

Every one among us is different from each other. That is why we are born in this wonderful world with full of treasures and experiences. If some of our friends share some good news about them, that is because they believe that by sharing that news, their happiness would be doubled and our blessings would be there with them forever. It is not like we should start pondering our own life with them. Then, I strongly doubt that relationship or the bondage. If we get or live like others, we don't need to be in this world in first place. We all have different skill set and character with what we should act wise to this world. Just put this compare attitude aside and live your present life to the most. If you perform well in present, your future would be sweet as custard. Don't worry about past....because it is PAST. Gone...who cares?

Root of dissatisfaction

2007-12-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

Why do we feel very dissatisfied sometimes though we manage to work hard, earn well, have good partner, have good friends, have good job, good kids......This may be because we always think what we want rather than what we have. Doesn't that feeling keep following us no matter what we achieve at different circumstances? It does. Say for example, we used to yearn for a toy when we had lolly in our hand, we used to yearn for car when we had motor cycle, we used to yearn for mercedes when we had toyota, it never ends..... is it because we always compare with others and what others have?
Why can't we be satisfied with what we have? Does it mean that we are smug? May not be, because I personally believe that the feeling of satisfaction or self-satisfaction must be on the materials that we have not the skill set or intellect. Hope I am not confusing the readers.....what I am trying to say here is...yearn for better skill set and up skill your intellect at all the times...materials follow that intellect..it is just a man-made stuff including money, fame, buildings, cars...all materials that you earn during your life time would be no where when you leave this world.

Is expectation the core of all our issues?

2007-11-22T18:49:00.000-08:00

When I started wondering about some of my feelings such as: frustration, homesick, missing my lady, sadness, guilt...Expectation is the core of all these unfortunate feelings.

Frustration : Expect on someone or something would obey or happen on your way
Homesick: Expect that you should always be with your family
Missing my lady or someone: Expect that she must be close to you all the time
Sadness: Expect that you should be happy all the time
Guilt: Expect that you should always be good but you have done totally an opposite thing against your concept of goodness.

Is there a problem in expressing what we feel?

2007-10-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

Some of us express what we feel but some of us hesitate to express what we think. This sort of difference of opinion arouse me this question. Being one human being, can we really think on behalf of others? If we do not share what we think, how can the other person know then? So why do we have problem in expressing our thoughts or feelings? Do we afraid of the other person's reaction in this very matter? May be, however, that reaction is our imagination. Do we really know the future? Particularly, when we are not enjoying our present properly (which is expressing our feelings at the very moment when we need to)
Having said that, would that be really rude to express our feeling when someone else gets offended? May be, but we need to know what they believe-in. And, for example, if we know their beliefs we may not need to pass some blind statement just to prove that they are wrong. But I dont think there is anything wrong in sharing thoughts or feelings though the beliefs are different.

When do we miss someone?

2007-10-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Every human being needs someone who can care and show some affection to them. Is it because, we human beings are highly depending on someone else for our emotional actions? May be...or is it because we are afraid of being alone.
Once we create that comfortable relationship bridge between us and any individual, we find it hard when we leave them. So initial pleasure turned out to be pain. Can we say that the pleasure and pain goes together? If we find pleasure on something, we feel pain when we miss that pleasure.
Things move and change in this evolutionary world. Though we all know this universal fact, why don't our mind be prepared of the pain while having the pleasure in first hand.

What is Learning?

2007-09-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

Learning is an on-going process for most of us and all the creatures to get to know new stuff and to survive in this Universe. When can we learn? Or, let me ask how can we learn? If you go attend some lectures, can we really learn? I think yes, we can if our mind is not filled with any assumptions on any particular concept that we want to learn about. On the other -hand, if we go with an empty minded with no thoughts about that particular concept, then we can learn from the lecture or from the speaker. This would be a new thing as well. Otherwise, what you listen would be what you would want to learn which you already knew from your conditioned mind or thoughts about any particular concept.
Let me put it in other way, if we go to some place trying to find a solution for a problem, we don't see the problem clearly rather than concentrating on the solution.
If we cannot see a problem clearly, how can we find solution for the problem? Why do we think anything as a problem and trying to find solution all the time......why cannot we just observe what we go through and try to make ourselves peace inwardly? ...guess topic has changed to finding solution to the problem....well...that is a miracle of mind, eh?

Frustration

2007-09-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

In this so-called highly competitive world, Frustration would be one of the most common state that most of us would be in some time. Why do we get frustrated? Is that when we know something or realized something but not our beloved ones or work mates with whom you need to deal with?

Just because we know some thing does not neccessarily mean that we have understood it clearly. For example if you know the solution for problem A and you end up explaining to your work mate, after several hours of discussion you are in vain and frustrated thinking your work mate is a real dumb person to understand this problem.
This may have happened to most of us....may be because your work mate's prespective is different from yours. He may be hard to be convinced by anyone...may be strong or adamant on his opinions due to his conditioned mind...

Samething happens within our families as well...everyone of us would be having different experiences and life surrounded with different societies, age group or beliefs....our mind gets conditioned based on these external factors eventually....and we end up conflicting our thoughts even with our parents, siblings, spouse whose external factors would be same as ours before few years or months.....
does that mean people change??? okay...how to rectify this frustration...may be patience....wait for others to understand or probably better way would be dont try to convince others....who are we to change others mind? ..Tolerance....that would be the key to get over frustration....wow...too many implications on our life....why do we need frustration in first place?

Do we have trouble in agreeing what we are?

2007-09-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Some of the questions that I wish to ask this Universe or God or nature....
why do we compare everything or everyone with some other thing or someone else? why cannot we agree who we are and what we have? Some of you might have seen some parents asking their kids for more performance by comparing theirs with some other kids or with his/her brothers/sisters. I think that is where that kid must be confused in accepting who he/she is and what he/she has.
We all are gifted with some special character...why do we need to ignore what we have and try to impose what others have considering that the other person's qualities are more superficial than our ones. When I think about it....I feel like we are confused with the reality or the simple facts. Why cannot we try to observe ourselves to find out what we have...no matter if its good or bad...who is there to decide anything good or bad? its either your experience or some one's assumptions....based on past. Do we need to stop observing ourselves for these past driven memories or thoughts? why cannot we realize what we have and try to be in contact with them?

Are we living in past?

2007-09-19T02:04:00.000-07:00

When I read some of Jiddu Krishnamurthi's work, I got some of these thoughts and questions. Are we all human beings living in past ? Are we spending our most of the time and energy in trying to justify our own actions. Have you noticed....we often try to impose ourself what should be on what it is. For example, if we start doing something, we have a predetermined idea on that action about what that action should be. In this circumstance, are we trying to do any new action or sticking with our old idea and naming it as new action?
Our mind is conditioned with the past experiences, the way how we were brought up, leading to the assumptions of duality (such as what is right or wrong, what is good or bad...). Due to this conditioned nature of our mind, we afraid to think something new...something against our assumptions...something that we do not know. It seems that we live our present, and think about future based on our past. JK suggests that one must observe the present with the blank mind...with no assumptions...irrespective to the conditioned thoughts. When he start observing the present, he sees new things...new discoveries can then be found...with new ideas...thus our mind nourishes with fresh ideas....so try to be open yourself and let your mind observe yourself.

Is god in both Religious and Spirutual?

2007-09-15T14:19:00.001-07:00

i find confusing whenever i come across these two terms spirituality and religion. i call myself as spiritual rather than religious. well...what s the difference? here is where i started plotting something interesting......
if you believe in any god in any specific religion, it would be religious . on the other hand, if you believe in god but believe that he/she is too big to fit in one religion (thanks to tantra t-shirt quotes!), then that s spiritual.

if you believe that god is love - religious
if you believe that love is god - spiritual

Finding god only in temples/churches/mosques/gurudwara - religious
Finding god and enjoying his creations everywhere - spiritual

In both the cases, god's belief is there however the boundary seems to be quite broadened in spiritual part.

still trying to explore :-)...be back when i come to realize more

any reason for all of our rituals?

2007-09-15T14:18:00.001-07:00

Being a part of normal human being in this Universe, we are taking part with or without interest in all the rituals either our family does or believes in.
Here is where the question arises if we need to justify our actions or we just follow others actions without questioning any one.
Say Family A is from Religion A and their neighbour Family B is from Religion B. Both the families do very different religious rituals and beliefs. Family A thinks they are better than B. Family B thinks the other way around.....Why this different of thoughts...though we all are part of same Universe....

Should we call it as lack of universal thought? or may be selfishness....

Love and Desire

2007-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

i found there is a very close boundary between these two feeling desire and love.

Selfish love seems to be desire to me....and Universal love seems to be Love to me....

here are few scenarios to describe these feelings:
Desire:
If you want something say a Ferrari, your only goal seems to be getting that Ferrari...(you are attached to the goal and fail to concentrate on the actions to get that Ferrari like working hard to earn more ....) This can be termed as desire. When you don't get what you desire for, it hurts you very badly.....that's where your emotion overpowers your intellect. You fail to act at that very moment rather than collapse. Do you think our life is just confined to those objective pleasures? Isn't it something bigger than that? I feel that having goal and working towards the goal is healthy. However, getting yourself attached to that goal would not be an intellectual thing to do for human beings. If you attach towards your actions, even if you don't attain your goal at last.....you don't feel dejected because you were attached to the action that you did and you know that you did it at your best.....you would have realized your mistakes during your course of action and make use of that experience in your future actions to attain better goal.......okay, back to our previous problem....desire is your objective attachment and hurts you if you don't attain.

Love:
You are walking in a serene street. Seeing a child playing with a ball...enjoying that very moment...that charming smile on his/her face...suddenly falls down and starts crying. No one near that child....what do you do?..don't you just run and pick that child and check if she/he is fine?...at that very moment, do you expect that you get reputation from that crying child or from her parents? or do you expect someone to reward you for that action?...No....you just do that because when that child fell down, you put your feet on that child's shoes and realized that child's pain and helped him/her. This helpless help can be called as Love. Help may not just in actions...it may be even a thought. Most of us might have a healthy, comfy lifestyle, however when we get to know some news about bombing in Iraq, poverty in Africa, or any other natural calamities in any where......don't we feel in that very moment about the suffering lives? That is also Love.

Foreword

2007-09-15T14:01:00.000-07:00

Being part of this Universe and society, we all have numerous thoughts about our self or someone else. Thought has become irresistible process of any human nature. Going in-depth on this concept, I felt that any one's thought is something like a leaf falling from tree on an autumn evening due to environmental factors like wind, season, etc....please try to imagine how that leaf falls from tree...not in a straight manner, no one knows where it is going to land on earth, it is all based on the environmental causes during that time....

This blog is going to have some of my thoughts like a falling leaf from tree....have got inspired by Paulo Coelho's Like a Flowing River. This book was presented by my Rakhi sister Awi.